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Thursday, May 21, 2009
 
China recently put a block on this blogger's access to her blog. The block's time-span is unknown, but the blogger will begin posting again shortly, upon her return to the U.S.
 
Thursday, May 14, 2009
  life update
as i listen to melanie softka, reminding me of green summer olympia, painting pictures, smoking cigs (though only a few), eating raw food, all with electra ro. botz, i also prepare to leave jian bing, garlic spinach on white steamed rice, salty baking heat, my favorite cafeteria tofu with peanuts, my four month dorm room, helen, these forty-five program acquaintances i've acquired, a slew of chinese customs that have become comfortable...

i realize i don't have much time to reflect these days, because of two hefty papers, a smattering of odd and ends classwork, a presentation, a post-due midterm, a final, and a performance this weekend.

so when i don't post for a while, this is why.

i will be in washington june 1/2 to june 20ish? then brit and i will be taking a coastal tour of the west coast and the southwest for a month and a half at least.

p.s. the picture is a chinese version of a kissing contest.
 
  for the record
kara (in a mix of chinese and english only intelligible by my roommate): 
"[i'm going to clean up a bit today.]"

roommate: 
"go back to sleep. it six am."

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Tuesday, May 12, 2009
  two new sites i've recently run-in to, and an older one worth remembering

freerice.com/
Here's a site any word lover could get addicted to and really fast. Luckily your game playing will not only make you smarter, but also serves altruistic purposes. Even if your day's humanitarian deeds are only ten grains of rice per correct answer, it could be just enough of an excuse to validate procrastination. And that warrants an A-OK in my book any day.

omegle.com/
I'm not sure how I feel about this site yet, as the anonymity aspect seems uncannily similar to the primitive, black and white web I surfed at twelve (which is also why I like it). The premise of it is very simple: type in the web address, let the page load, and press connect to be randomly assigned to somebody else who at that instant was also doing the same. It's a minimalist site with a candid motive: talk to strangers. (Right now I'm talking to somebody from Lyon, France about ripping bear flesh apart in Patagonia.)

wefeelfine.org/
This site was hands down my favorite site of 2006. It "harvests" feelings--sentences that include "i feel" or "i am feeling"--from recently published blog posts. The site's interface itself is one of the reasons why the site is so popular, allowing you by a panel to screen feelings by adjective, place, weather, time, or gender (to name a few). Of course this feature just narrows a search by criterion, and to experience the six lenses that help you picture the web's mood, you'll have to take a peek yourself.

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Monday, May 11, 2009
  mother's day
I really appreciate my family. It's great to see how everybody has helped each other grow and learn, regardless of if they are/aren't aware of it. Every time I talk to my brother he seems more mature and even though he has always been incredibly intelligent on some higher plain of ethics and living, he recently has become more aware of what he realistically needs to do to survive on his own and is suddenly with more motivation to carry it out. I think the latter is the most important change I've seen in him in the past year or so. I suppose some of this is due to his girlfriend of two years, whose presence has helped him value things outside of his head or his game. I guess my family has also taught me the benefits of compromise, as I've always been hard-headed in my knowledge gained from my learned/lived experiences. I've had to learn considerable patience from my mother's lack of memory, one that she has been blaming on Alzheimer's since 40. I've had to learn to overlook things for the sake of harmony, things that can never be figured out,  or aren't worth my time to try for--which is hard for a mind that doesn't quit. I really value my family. I think they all try to be the best people they can be, and even thought we all have our individual faults, we all also try our best to be understanding of each other. I think this is the most important thing a cooperative family can do. Love is not enough, there's a bit of work required.

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Thursday, May 7, 2009
  tigers versus lions. a perennial debate
This is what i'm talking about. I mean I haven't said anything yet, but this is what my neurons fire at each other most of the time, pictures of zoo lions and tigers feeding voraciously out of the same tin bowl without attacking one another. I think the photo must be posed, maybe even taxidermic, for if this were true the lion would flee to a safe spot of 360 sight while the tiger would stalk from the foliage. Neither would choose to attack, but neither would remove an eye or be relaxed. Maybe they are just too preoccupied here. Maybe food that isn't one another is the key for stability. Healthy pursuits that aren't each other. Tigers suffer from wanderlust. This is okay.


This however, makes me want to puke. By "this" I mean pigs wrapped in faux tiger skin (dear god, i hope so) blankets. I really don't know what to say about it or why it is on my blog. I just know there is some relevance in my grand metaphorical scheming, but right now i'm involuntarily sagging into shaking zombie body from five hour nap coffee combination. There's a test tomorrow too. One with lots of things on it like 拍拍 or 服从。我拍拍老虎。I pet tiger. 我服从老虎。I obey tiger. There's also idiomatic gems like “远亲不如近邻”,a close neighbor means more than a distant relative. I want to get back into my rhyme of whim, magick, impulse and intuition. I know i've strayed and while I acknowledge phases--all of them meaningful--I'm ready for these spirits in my life again. It couldn't have been only a side affect of switching doses of antipsychotic drugs or a byproduct of natural highs and lows, it is in here somewhere and will once more find a valid place.

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  okay, okay
so i know i should be talking about things like jian bing or baozi, but i just can't help myself right now. gay marriage. when did this massive landslide of change begin? i recognize that i'm out of the loop and not immersed in u.s. media (as most of it is blocked here), but iowa, vermont, maine and new hampshire all in a month's period...w h a a a t? is this really happening?
that's also to add to connecticut and mass, and a soon to be new york.

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Sunday, May 3, 2009
  a few grievances

i've passed by the same makeshift cavities inside the tiled walls of the east side of 赤峰路chifeng road six times today; some with pink lights and women with fake eyelashes cross-stitching in nightgowns strewn about languidly on lusty-colored ikea couches; others lightless until you cross the threshold of those with curdled blood tofu skin and a dash of pepper hair for good parsimonious taste; and more without electric light capabilities altogether, those of the nomadic tribe, lacking a edifice to hole in, instead hiding durians, pumelos and apples under a blanket, or books in between the partitions of a rectangle paneled bike cart. (the latter giving me a 400% foreigner price hike for the pirate-printed american heritage dictionary, of which i refused, and his pride refused, and nobody won.)


why? why three times today did i make the twenty minute trek in my blue plastic mary-janes that rub the inch below my outer-ankles to visit carrefour? dee first time i went to procure 'dem necessities like a buy-one-get-one free package of mint dental floss, jumbo-sized nail clippers that don't cost 10 cents USD or have steel that breaks in the middle of the lever, toothpaste that has illustrations on the package that signify "whiter teeth"--in my case a sparkling diamond--and an external hard drive. the second time i went to the carrefour i came bearing laptop and pleasant smile with AAA buddhist grade detachment. we tried both my purchased chinese brand external hard drive and a different one of the same make and model by a few computers with an unnervingly nonsensical and arbitrary sampling of responses. the third time i went to the chifeng road carrefour, i came donning bandages below my ankles, and grade C+ style detachment. i was able to get a return on the item, prided myself in being able to handle a return using chinese--i usually cannot do this in america in english--and left without an external hard drive.


moral of story. unknown chinese brand products usually are not quality tested.

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  things that i need to work on in the coming year:
relieving myself of self-indulgence, and the decadent habit of analyzing my self-indulgences
exhuming my intuitive, good-spirited impulsiveness
making lists in the name of goal-oriented behavior in order to circumvent point a

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Name: Kara Kara
Location: Shanghai, China
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